First Day of "School"

So, let's get it out of the way.  Yes, I cried when I left my baby (but only a little).  Yes, Jimmy did too.  Yes, Nathan was perfectly fine.  Yes, I only lasted about half the day and picked him up at 12:30pm.  Yes, I took him back the next day  (reluctantly).

Monday, July 25th was Nathan's first day of school. Our morning started out like most mornings...except that it started at 5:30am instead of 6:30am.  I guess Nathan was super excited about his first day of school!  He was happily awake in his crib as usual and gave me lots of "good morning smiles" when I went in to get him up. We sang the Good Morning Nathaniel song and the I Love Nathan song (both of which I made up soon after he was born) while getting a dry bottom.  I went ahead and gave him his "breakfast" and tried through the half-awake sleep haze to relish the few minutes when I get my sweet angel all to myself to snuggle up against me.  As much as I hated breastfeeding in the beginning (and I hated it a lot), I love it so much now and am reluctant to give it up during the day.  Pumping can never be the same as having your baby nestled up against you peacefully nursing away with eyes half closed and his little hand brushing rhythmically up and down your chest or clenching your shirt.  Mornings are my favorite time with him because he is always such a happy smiling baby and usually we take a leisurely approach to the morning and sit in the rocker and have Good Morning snacks, Good Morning books, Good Morning hugs and more Good Morning songs (are you sensing a theme here?) until it is time for his first morning nap.  Even if we had an awful night the evening before, our morning time is special and I like to think he enjoyed it as much as I did.  Here's a picture of Nathan sporting his "morning-after-a-bath-and-mommy didn't do so hot with the brush" hair.  If his Big Dad (my dad) were here he'd say, "He worked on it all night!"  And because I don't believe in putting gel in my 3 month old's hair...yes, he went to school like that!

After I got Nathan dressed in his cute blue dinosaur romper I went about getting myself ready for the day with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that had nothing to do with the cold Nathan shared with me. I was dreading having to drive the 3 minutes to Primrose and ::gulp:: leave my baby with strangers! Of course Nathan spit up on his shirt as soon as I put him in his bouncer, but it wasn't very much and I figured he could go to school in a one-spit-up shirt (silly Mommy).  I managed to get myself pulled together in fairly short order and finished packing Nathan's bag while Jimmy held and talked to him. Let the record show that Jimmy may have had a harder time with Nathan's first day of school than me and the jury is out on whether he would have actually ever left the daycare had he been the one to drop off our baby.

I have never had a harder time putting my sweet boy into his car seat.  Not because he was being squirmy or bad, but because I wanted him to be glued in my arms forever!  At this point I'm working double time to keep the tears back but am putting on a brave front so Daddy will feel better.  I'm trying to be very matter-of-fact about the whole morning.  Well, no sooner than I put Nathan in his car seat does he spit up again (this time a bit more than the first time). ::SIGH:: Nathaniel!!! So out he comes and into a new blue and yellow romper because I can't send him to school smelly in a two-spit-up shirt!  Eventually we all make it into the car and drive off to school.  As I mentioned before, the Primrose is literally less than 3 minutes away from the house.  I stayed with Nathan for about an hour this first morning and nursed him right before I left (mainly because I was certain he wouldn't eat anything the whole time he was there).  I was hoping he would go to sleep (since it was first morning nap time) but of course he was in a new place and had to look around at everything.  Because he was tired he was getting bothered by all the noise, but when I put him down in a bouncer he gave me smiles and I knew he would be okay. 

I finally dragged myself out the door of the infant room and, oh no, here come the water works!  ::Commence fanning with enrollment paperwork while walking to the desk to pay tuition::  I really almost lost it right there in the hall, but another mommy walking down the hall made me straighten up (hate crying in front of strangers). It turns out that writing a huge check really takes the edge off the sadness.  You start thinking, "Well, he'd better love it here!!" On the drive home I tried to just think about the work I had waiting for me at home and consoled myself that I would be going back to pick him up in 4 hours.  Not so long, right?

The morning went by pretty quickly and I think I only called up to the school once to check on him.  I was very happy to hear that he was napping but not so happy that he didn't take his morning bottle.  Not that I was surprised...he had been refusing bottles from us for several weeks already.  But that sick feeling came back to my stomach as I imagined my baby, my baby, crying and going hungry and wanting his mommy.  It makes me tear up now just thinking about it again!  Thankfully I stuck to my original plan of leaving him until 12:30pm and was so excited to hear when I got to the school that he had actually taken 3 ounces of formula from them!  Hallelujah!!  He was sleeping peacefully when I walked into the room and I got those warm mommy feelings as I looked down at him in his crib.  He held on tight to me when I picked him up and my heart melted a little more.

The afternoon at home was pretty uneventful.  Nathan took a 2 hour nap while I continued to work at the kitchen table. He must have had a hard day playing!

Later that evening we discovered once again that his little tummy doesn't do formula so well as he threw up onto himself and me.  Luckily it wasn't the full emptying of the stomach that we got the last time he had formula and he was fine for the rest of the night.  He also had a rash around his mouth that may have been from the formula...not sure. So now I am re-resolved to pump for him for as long as I can.  I had originally said I was going to only nurse him in the morning and evening and let him have formula at school, but I am not ready for a formula trial-and-error session involving my baby throwing up every day until we get it right.  So, mommy's milk it is for now!  All in all it was a pretty good day and we enjoyed having our happy smiling boy back at home.  Here he is in his third outfit of the day before it was time for bed and sweet dreams.

Just the facts, ma'am.

After reading several friends' blog postings today, I've decided that mine are decidedly boring (p.s. I always feel slightly like a stalker when getting caught up on someones personal life, even if they are a friend).  I thought about this for a while and determined that my postings are akin to a police report...the facts and circumstances are there, but there is no emotion!  Now, my husband will be the first to tell you that I am a very emotional person (example, I almost always cry when seeing someone get engaged...even the Kay Jewelers commercials) so I found it odd that my own musings are so devoid of emotive adjectives.  I have a wide vocabulary and am not afraid to use it - especially when telling stories.  Furthermore, I've just had a baby, and I can't think of a more emotional time in my life...talk about a roller coaster (poor Jimmy).

I decided that my apparent penchant for recording just the relevant facts and associated circumstances is a byproduct of being an auditor. "Why is that?" you say?  Well, a little known fact about auditors is that they all secretly wanted to major in English instead of Accounting. "Really?"  No, not really.  However, I find that I do far far more writing as an auditor than I ever imagined (with no hints from the professorial staff at Texas A&M...thanks a lot!).  There are process narratives, technical memos, non-technical memos, review notes, responses to review notes...the list goes on and on.  Basically, my entire day consists of observing things and writing down those observations for posterity (okay, maybe just the SEC).  To make matters worse, the observations come after looking at schedules full of numbers.  You ask, "How much can you say about numbers?"  Surprisingly, quite a bit!  But what you don't say about numbers is how they make you feel.  I don't remember the last time I got warm fuzzies when writing or reading a memo at work.

Now, don't get me wrong, I have a LOT of feelings about what I do, my clients, the schedules they give me, the endless meetings I get to attend (hear that...get to attend...so funny!) but I can't exactly go putting those feelings on paper at work.  Most of them are good feelings, but I'll admit that between the hours of 10:00pm and Midnight (or later) those feelings start to get less positive.  Right now most of my feelings about work revolve around going back after 17 weeks of maternity leave (side note - EY has fabulous benefits for women).  After being "out of the loop" for so long I am worried about going back and getting back in the swing of things (p.s. I am a worrier...I know...I see your shocked face).  Obviously, my approach to work will not and can never be the same now that Mr. Nathaniel is in my life.  Before him, I am ashamed to say that work came a very close second after my marriage and frequently took first place in my life - usually for the months of January through the end of April when my two clients filed their reports with the SEC.  The only real positive that came from this is that I have consistently been a high performer and am compensated accordingly.  I am able to comfortably support my family while Jimmy finishes getting his PhD.  This is not to say that we are rolling around in beds of money, but I at least don't have to check the bank account before going to the grocery store...at least not very often : )

I'm sure that in the coming weeks I'll have quite a bit to say about being a working mommy in a suburb full of stay-at-home moms (not statistically true I'm sure, but it feels like it sometimes).  Feelings of inadequacy as a mother and jealousy toward the moms who get to be primary caregiver conflicting with the fulfillment of working at a job I love (75% of the time) and reminding myself that I never really wanted to be a full-time homemaker. It's amazing what a baby does to your life and priorities.  Anyway, all this to say that in my coming posts I'll put every effort into filling in the facts of my life with the related emotions!

Snuffles and Sneezes!!

Tools of the trade

Well, it finally happened.  Nathan is sick. We almost made it 4 whole months before he got his first stuffy nose, which I consider to be quite an accomplishment considering he's been to play groups, church, bible study, South Texas and Austin in his short life.  I first noticed the snuffling Tuesday night and we happened to have an appointment with Dr. Haney the next morning for an unrelated issue so I wasn't too worried.  The pediatrician says it is probably just a summer cold and to use saline drops to help flush the mucus down.  The mucus is mostly running down the back of his throat, so the nasal aspirator (read: snot bulb) is not very effective, but I give it a go every so often.  He takes it like a champ although he usually doesn't appreciate the saline drops (probably because he has to lay still for a minute after he gets them!). I think they are helping though, so we keep doing them every couple of hours.  He isn't running a fever so far (hooray)!

In an effort for both of us to get a better night's sleep I spent the night in Nathan's room on an air mattress last night. Laying there with my eyes closed listening to his snorting, sneezing, coughing and gurgling was preferable to laying in my own bed watching the baby monitor all night (plus, my New Mommy Handbook says to sleep with your baby the first time they get sick...so there).  I felt surprisingly rested this morning althought it is obvious Nathan didn't sleep very well because he has been napping more than usual today.  Thankfully this happened before I went back to work. Hopefully it will all pass soon!

Best Friends!

Rylan, Nathan and Kylee

Nathan's two best friends these days are Kylee Blair and Rylan Kemp.  Rylan (belonging to Lela and Kellen) was born 5 weeks before Nathan and Miss Kylee (belonging to Natalie and Sean) was born the day after Nathan.  Kylee was about 7 weeks premature but she is catching right up to the boys.  The mommys enjoy getting together for "play dates" - otherwise known as lunch - usually once a week if we can manage it.  I am really going to miss our special time together when I go back to work!

The girls came over to the house today to enjoy some veggie tacos and mommy time.  The visit was a little rough at first since Mr. Nathaniel didn't get his nap out before they arrived and was a big time fuss-budget until I got finished making lunch.  Rylan thought Nathan's crying was pretty funny, but I was glad when it stopped! Thankfully Lela is a veteran super mommy and was able to comfort her daughter Jacey while holding both Rylan and Nathan.  I should have gotten a picture of that - she had her arms full of baby!  They get so big so fast!  Rylan is around 16 lbs, Nathan weighs just at 15 lbs and Kylee is about 12 lbs if you can believe it. I hope the three of them stay close as they keep growing up!

Here are some pictures of the kids from their very first play date at Natalie's house on May 27th. 

 

 

It's a shame...

...that nobody loves this baby!  You would think that the first born grandbaby (on Jimmy's side) would get more attention and visits from his admiring public.  Oh wait!!!  It turns out that somebody does like this baby a little bit...

Well, the proof is in the pictures.  This is one abused, mistreated and un-loved baby! Such a shame...

Three Months Old!!

Nathan, you turned 3 big months old on July 6th.  You are already sleeping in your big boy crib in your own room (we moved you from the cradle in our room when you were around 11 weeks old).  You are not sleeping through the night yet, but we're getting closer every week!  Your bedtime is between 7:30p and 8:30p although we usually try to have you laying down by 8:00p.  You usually wake up between 5:30-6:30a for the day and are almost always a very happy baby first thing in the morning.  Seeing your morning smiles makes it easier for Mommy to forget the hard nights.  You still wake up for at least 1 feeding at night, but the doctor says you should grow out of that in the next couple of months.

We started swaddling you with your arms out when you turned three months old (Grammy said it was time) and you didn't have any problems sleeping that night, although it took you longer to fall asleep than usual.  At bedtime you have one last "snack", a bath (every other night), we read two books (Pajamma Time! and The Going to Bed Book, both by Sandra Boynton) and say our bedtime prayers.  After the books you sometimes get mad because you aren't ready for the day to end!

You transitioned from size 1 to size 2 diapers right around this time and have grown out of your size 3 month clothes.  You are now wearing size 3-6 months or 6 month clothes, especially in your sleepers.  At your 2 month appointment with Dr. Haney you were 12 lbs 3 oz (60th %ile) and 25 inches long (98th %ile)!  Mommy weighed and measured you at 3 months and you were about 13 lbs 8 oz and 25.5 inches long.  Such a big boy!  Your eyes are dark green right now and you are getting a lot more talkative.  As you are getting bigger you are definitely noticing more of the world around you, so much so that you don't want to take naps!  You usually take between 3 and 4 naps, but they are sometimes very short and you fight each and every one.  Mommy understands that there is so much for you to see, but it is very important that you get enough sleep, so we battle it out every day.  When you get sleepy you start to rub your face and get very talkative trying to explain to me why you really don't need to take a nap!

 

You love to talk to your jungle friends on your activity mat.  We also have "tummy time" on this mat and you are getting really good at holding your head up high to smile at Mommy and Daddy.  You also like to practice standing up on your big strong legs and try to sit up all by yourself (although you aren't quite stable enough yet).  You are getting good at putting your hands in your mouth and like to chew on your burp rags a lot.  You are also experimenting with blowing bubbles with your mouth and making funny noises with your tongue. You follow Mommy and Daddy with your eyes wherever we are in the room. We tried to take your 3 month picture with Pluto, but you were more interested in exploring your hands and looking at your feet.

Our days are not too terribly exciting.  After we wake up we usually read "good morning books" and talk about the day.  If you are in a good enough mood you "help" Mommy wash dishes and empty or load the dishwasher.  You also like to help me fold laundry and hang up clothes.  Mommy is getting ready to go back to work in a few weeks, so you are going to be spending your days at Primrose School of Kelliwood starting on July 25th.  Mommy is a little worried because you are refusing to take a bottle right now.  You much prefer to nurse with Mommy and act like we are trying to give you poison in your bottles.  This means you are going to have a rough couple of days at school because Mommy can't be there to nurse you all day long until you learn to take a bottle from them.

Mommy and Daddy love you so very much and can't wait to see what new things you are going to learn in the next few months!

Love and hugs,
Mommy

Nathan's First...

Morning at Home...

When I came downstairs after our first morning home (Grammy had preceded me downstairs with the baby so I could get a little sleep) this is what I saw...

Nathan is in the pack n' play sleeping.  Joule was just sitting there staring as if she felt a disturbance in the force but couldn't quite put her paw on what was wrong.  As a side note, the cats have been great with Nathan; they don't jump in his crib or mess with his stuff or try to get near him.  Joule and Biggles take the crying in stride while Jezebelle runs at the first sign of unhappiness.

Bath!!

Nathan had his first bath three or four days after we got home from the hospital.  I was still not able to get around very well (thank you episiotomy) so we did his bath on the guest bathroom counter rather than in the bathtub itself.  Needless to say he did not appreciate our efforts very much, not that I blame him because it was actually a little cool in there.  Grammy was standing by with camera laughing at me and Jimmy.  Since that first bath we have done all subsequent baths in the big bathtub (but still in his little tub) with water running.  It is much warmer in the guest bathroom and the running water keeps him calm, so bathtime is not a time to be dreaded at our house.  Even if he is being fussy, as soon as we turn on the water he calms right down!

Afterward, Daddy rescued him from the evil woman who got him cold and wet and they spent some time snuggling in the rocking chair.

Visitors!!

We are very blessed to have so many family and friends who were very excited to meet Nathaniel.  Once we got home we had lots of visitors including Joe and Annie Jo Simmons, cousin Cynthia and Bill, Drew and Pam (and Ben) Johnston, and of course Aunt Ashley!

When Nathan turned one month old (also Mother's Day weekend) Auntie Finity came to visit us and help me get some rest (she also washed every stitch of laundry that we own!!).  We loved having her visit and she got some good snuggles with our Nathan-dactyl.

Oh Poop!

Now, all new parents know that they are going to have to deal with dirty diapers...a lot of dirty diapers.  It comes with the territory and is an expected and accepted part of the job description.  Little did we know that we would soon be praying (literally) for poop.  Nathan had the normal number of newborn "black tar" poops while we were in the hospital, but then decided that after Thursday afternoon he was going to take a break for a while...4 1/2 days to be exact!  As brand new parents who had been told to expect several "dirty" diapers each day we were understandably worried.  Couple this with the jaundice that was actually hard to see on my tan baby and some serious trouble breastfeeding and we had a recipe for severely stressed out parents!  Finally, after encouraging words from the on-call nurse at our pediatrician's office we got our first at home poop - whew!  I have never been so happy to see something that most parents (especially dads) dread!

The adventure with diapers continued in a predictable fashion for several weeks.  Here is a fond memory from April 28, 2011:

[As posted on Facebook]  Outfit #3 for the day...Mommy prefers green anyway! Here is how we got there (also the new mom's 10 Step guide to taking baby's temperature)...
Step 1: Feed baby every 90 minutes (as requested) then burp carefully. Note that baby is fussier than usual today.

Step 2: Jostle baby while re-dressing and changing diaper that was filled while nursing.
Step 3: Change your shirt and babies outfit after efforts of nursing end up on both of you.
Step 4: Decide that baby feels warm and, despite knowing he doesn't have a fever, determine that his temperature needs to be taken anyway (silly mommy).
Step 5: Prepare thermometer and lay baby on changing pad (important note: forget to lay down absorbent hand towel on plastic-y changing pad).
Step 6: Undo diaper (Hooray - it's empty!). Turn head for 2 seconds to reach for thermometer.
Step 7: Begin cleaning up pee that was carefully aimed away from absorbent diaper and onto non-absorbent changing pad (also strip bed sheets and baby's outfit). Lay down absorbent hand towel (too little too late??).
Step 8: Reach for thermometer once more (Note: forget to position new clean diaper under baby). Jump back as exploding poop gets all over baby and hand towel (but thankfully not the mattress!).
Step 9: Clean up baby, get new diaper (we're on #3 by now) and move hand towel to "safe" place away from flailing baby feet. Insert thermometer. Turn head while additional gas is passed in your face.
Step 10: Acknowledge that 99.3 is not a dangerous temp for a 3 week old, get new outfit (he looks good in green anyway) and attach newest diaper to baby. Easy!!!

Happy Birthday, Nathan!

My precious angel was born into this world on April 6, 2011 at 5:16pm.  It took a little coaxing, but I'm getting ahead of myself a little.  At our 39 week appointment we scheduled Nathan to be induced on his due date "just in case" because we were feeling sure that he would come on his own before then.  The morning of April 6th started pretty early for Mommy and Daddy who had to be at the hospital by 6:30am.  Grammy came to stay with us the night before so she could be with us at the hospital, so we all packed up and headed to the Memorial-Hermann Katy hospital.  There was a slight delay in getting admitted (evidently Wednesday is a popular day to have a baby) and then we were escorted to our labor and delivery room which happened to be the largest one on the floor.  We were introduced to the most fantastic nurse ever (Janice) and got hooked up to all kinds of monitors.

I hadn't really decided yet what type of pain management I wanted.  I figured I would go as long as I could "naturally" then ask for an epidural if things got out of hand.  The nurse started the pitocin drip at around 7:15am (I was still dialated only 1cm) and it took less than an hour for me to ask for the epidural.  Getting the epidural wasn't that bad, although it numbed my right side more than the left.  I progressed regularly at 1cm per hour (by the book) until around noon.  In the mean time Lolo joined us in the room so she could be there to see her first grandbaby born.  When the nurse came to check my progress after lunch time we had jumped up to 8cm dialated.  At around 4:00pm she checked me again and said, "It's time to have this baby!"  I asked her how long she thought and she said probably within the hour.  Yikes!

Janice and the other nurses got all dressed up and she had me start pushing before Dr. Schmidt arrived, which made me a little nervous because the other nurses would come by and say "Oh, there's the head!"  Eventually Dr. Schmidt made it over and we got down to business.  Grammy and Lolo "helped" me push from the couch (I'm surprised neither of them passed out from holding their breath) while Daddy held my hand and three or four contractions later my baby was born.  The first thing Dr. Schmidt said was, "He's bigger than I thought he would be!"  Thanks a lot!  Nathaniel Henry weighed in at 8 pounds 9 ounces and 21.75 inches long.  Grammy said I have the Mason hips to thank for the easy delivery.

After they got Nathan cleaned and bundled up I finally got to hold my precious boy.  Momo and Popo came in to see and Popo may or may not have gotten a little misty in the eye area.

The first night at the hospital was exhausting.  I think I only got 1 hour of sleep with all the checking and re-checking the nurses were doing.  Jimmy got slightly more because he passed out cold on the couch in the room.  He was pretty tired after a slightly scary moment involving me almost passing out while he was left alone with a brand newborn!  Thankfully Grammy and Lolo (and Momo and Popo) came back the next day so Jimmy and I could get some rest. 

I come from a family that loves to read so we were sure to bring a few books to the hospital so Nathan could enjoy some snuggle and reading time.  Grammy read him "Snuggle Puppy" (by Sandra Boynton - LOVE her books for small children!!) and I read him "God Gave Us You" (a gift from our sweet friend Lauren Massey).  It was hard to tell who enjoyed the reading more!

We had some visitors in the hospital, including Kellen and Lela Kemp (with their son Rylan who is exactly 5 weeks older than Nathan) and Matt and Misty Glover (unfortunately did not get a picture).

Nathan weighed 8 pounds when we left the hospital and had a little bit of jaundice, but nothing very serious.  All in all the birth was WAY easier than the recovery but we got to come home after just a few days in the hospital and started our brand new life with our brand new baby boy!