A Letter to Mom

Dear Mom,

I am writing you this letter on the night before your birthday so you will hopefully wake up tomorrow morning, read it, and know how much you are loved even though I can't be there with you. I've had this in the back of my mind for several years now, and every Mother's Day and birthday that go by I try to find the perfect card that eloquently says what I feel. Half (okay, okay...more than half) the time those cards get put somewhere "safe" and never actually make it to you. Maybe next year I'll commemorate the occasion by finding all of them and giving you the pile. The point is that while I am able to find cards that come close, they are never quite perfect. This letter won't be perfect either, but I hope it comes close.

I want you to know that you were, and are, an amazing mother. There has never been a time when I didn't feel loved. There has never been a time when I didn't know how proud you were of me.You are the one who brought us to church and taught us what God expected of our behavior. You taught me, by example, what it means to be a servant. You taught me what true commitment is - in marriage and in life. When I look back on the number of sacrifices you made for us it is truly difficult to comprehend. No doubt you learned this from your own mother, who is one of the most remarkable women I know.

Mom, I sincerely pray that I turn out to be even a shadow of the mother that you are. I pray that I show my children the heart of a servant. I pray that I have the strength to put others needs before my own on a day-in and day-out basis. I pray that I can show my babies what it means to have unconditional love but still have expectations of christian behavior. I pray that I have the strength to push them to independence while letting them know they can always find support in mommy's arms. I pray that they grow up knowing how good their "sugars" are and that they'll always be my precious angels.

Many women grow up thinking about the many things they want to do differently than their own mother. I won't pretend that I didn't have a few of those moments, but the list was short, and now that I'm successfully doing those very things (ahem: laundry), I appreciate so much more how hard it was to be you. Now I spend my time trying to figure out all the things you did that were so natural and unforced that it took me until now to realize they must have taken effort and forethought. I want to be the kind of mom whose daughter cries when she has to leave after the birth of her first (and second) baby. I want to be the kind of mom whose son-in-law has been known to ask, "So, when is your mom going to come up again?" Those take a special woman.

Mom, I love you more than words can say. I can't imagine my life without your presence, advice (solicited and unsolicited), and hugs. I hope you have a very happy birthday and know that even though I'm not there with you, I'll be putting all of your lessons to good use chasing around your rotten grandchildren.

All my love,
Shelley Marie