Confessions of a Working Mommy

Nathan watching Aristocats while Mommy works (on a Saturday)

I've had the thought of this blog for several months now. Not so coincidentally it came to me during busy season this year, but I was too exhausted and overwhelmed to do anything about it. I also didn't know exactly how to explain what I am really feeling. Part of why I want to record this is so that my beautiful children understand a little bit about what our life was like these days and why it was that way. So let me back up.

Future Nathan and Olivia, right now your mommy is an external auditor for an exceptional company. I started this job right after graduating from Texas A&M and have kept it all these years in order to pay the bills. See, your daddy was in school for a long time. A. Long. Time. And, as I'm sure you're aware by now, money doesn't grow on trees, so for many years I stayed at the firm because it was secure, there was a clear career progression and it paid well.  Being an external auditor for a Big 4 public accounting firm has many benefits but also requires many sacrifices. The hours are long and the stress is high. It is challenging, frustrating, complicated, unpredictable and demanding. There were many years that I worked 600 hours or more of overtime. That doesn't happen anymore, but only because I'm on a flexible work arrangement that reduces my hours. Even so, there are many nights that I don't get home until after you've gone to bed. Some nights during busy season (the time of year that public companies are getting ready to file their Form 10-K with the SEC) I don't get home until 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning. Some mornings I have to be to work so early that I don't get to see you before you wake up. That means that some days I wouldn't have seen you at all except that you were both such poor sleepers I did end up seeing you between the time I fell into bed exhausted and the alarm went off the next morning. A day during busy season just this past year (Nathan almost 3 years old and Olivia around 6 to 7 months old) may have looked like this for me:

6:00 am - wake up as Daddy leaves for work, get myself and you both ready
7:30 am - drop you off at daycare
8:30 am - get to work (after sitting in traffic for an hour)
{work all day - break for lunch}
6:00 pm - dinner arrives at the client. FaceTime with you and Daddy.
Midnight - shut down for the day
1:00 am - fall into bed and pass out
1:45 am - Nathan wakes me up and comes to our bed to sleep for the rest of the night
2:00 am - fall back asleep
3:00 am - Olivia wakes up to eat and is rocked back to sleep
3:45 am - fall back asleep
5:00 am - Daddy's alarm goes off
5:05 am - reach around Nathan to hit daddy so he gets up
6:00 am - start over again.

If you add that all up, it is between 3 and 4 hours of non-contiguous sleep. It's a minor miracle I made it to work every day and was able to function. Don't get me wrong - I wasn't functioning well - just barely functioning. I did that for 7 weeks. Some nights were better. Some weeks were better, but typically 70 to 80 hours during that time. There were lots of tears involved.

By now you are horrified and wonder why anyone in their right mind would ever do this insane job. Believe me, I've thought the same thing over the years. So has your Daddy. But every time I thought about leaving the firm something kept me connected and willing to stay "just one more year." The biggest factor was (is) the flexibility and the support network I have there; it keeps getting better every year.

So here comes the confession: I enjoy my job. I like being a working mommy. Despite all the stress and sacrifice, I look forward {gasp} to going downtown to serve my clients.

Let me see if I can explain (and maybe I can't). I learned from my mommy and daddy that there are sacrifices involved in life, especially if it involves building a career and providing for your family. I also learned that some jobs are "8 to 5" and they don't follow you home. But some jobs are actually careers, and careers don't stop at 5:00. Careers involve meeting with clients and co-workers at odd hours. Careers require you to be available to others all day, sometimes every day. Careers mean continual learning and development of yourself and others. Careers are hard work and usually involve working a lot of hours. I don't know that I ever consciously thought about it, but I guess I always assumed I would have a career after college. I never considered being a stay-at-home mommy (except when Nathan was born, and at that point it wasn't an option financially for our family). I knew when I joined the firm that it would require hard work and long hours in order to be successful. Those things just go hand in hand in my mind. In order to be successful you have to work hard. I hope your daddy and I are finding a way to teach you that.

My mommy was (and is) a working mommy. I knew that working and having a family would require additional challenges and trade-offs based purely on her example. Our house isn't immaculate, but I hope you value the time we spend together. We don't have the newest/best/latest everything, but I hope you know how much I love you. No, I don't cook every night, but I hope someday you understand how hard I try to make sure we have family time around the table. Having this job, this career, doesn't mean I don't love being at home with you. It doesn't mean I don't value having as much time as possible with you. In fact, I have given up tens of thousands of dollars a year in order to spend more time at home and less at work. But it does mean that sometimes I'm not going to make it home in time for bed, sometimes I have to leave early in the morning, and sometimes I have to work on the weekend.

So there you have it. This is all your Grammy and Big Dad's fault. Just kidding, of course. The decisions have been mine, and I'm happy with them. And, most importantly, I always love you, no matter what.

Spring & Summer Fun (in pictures)

Happy girl playing with bouncy balls. 

Olivia loves chasing brother (or being chased) and screams and squeals when someone starts saying, "I'm gonna get you!" She's getting pretty quick with the crawling.

Nathan was sick and stayed home with Mommy. After a while, he got his laptop out so he could "work" too. Is that the face I make when I'm working???

I just love this picture. Sibling love. I hope it lasts!

I forget now if this was supposed to be a wand (Sleeping Beauty), Maleficient's staff (also Sleeping Beauty), a sharp saw (Frozen ice workers) or a cross bow (Frozen "mean boys"). Either way, he's cute.

I caught Clark Kent mid-change...

Having a popsicle on a random day at home with Mommy.

My classy daughter eating her Bible and propping her bare foot up on the table (in a dress) during Bible class on Sunday morning. We'll have a talk about how young ladies are supposed to sit when she's older.

First pony tail - May 22, 2014

This girl adores her daddy. She would start "dancing" in place when he played.

"Excuse me. Trying to eat here."

First trip to the subdivision pool (since we moved here in 2009!). She loved being in the water, although she kept trying to capsize her float to reach the water and splash.

Big brother showing Olivia how to make big splashes.

Nathan made me get in the big freezing pool then promptly got out, so Olivia joined me for a few minutes before we retired back to the smaller (warmer) pool.

Nathan decided he needed to sit in the float too and chased Daddy and Olivia around in circles.

Best friend hugs at Andy's birthday party. Nathan had so much fun and was sooooo exhausted afterward after jumping and sliding for over an hour!

Literally dozens of toys to choose from, and she plays with a water bottle. ::sigh::

Playing with Popo on a Sunday afternoon. Doesn't get much better.

Yee Haw!

Home sick again - this time with hand-foot-mouth. Can you tell I try to work when he's home with me??

Vacation Bible School - Night #1

This year the VBS theme was the life of Joseph, so they made his coat of many colors with felt strips.

VBS Night #2 - modeling Pharaoh's headdress.  

VBS Night #3

VBS Night #3 - Mommy and Nathan waiting for the final songs and dismissal. He had so much fun and sang "Roll the Gospel Chariot Along" most of the way home that night.

Jimmy and I off to the EY Entrepreneur of the Year Award Gala (the CEO I interviewed was a finalist - and won one of the awards!). This was supposed to be the kick off to our anniversary trip, but Jimmy caught the stomach bug Olivia brought home so we had to cancel. 

By Saturday evening Jimmy was feeling better so we got out the big swimming pool and squirt guns and had some serious fun. Unfortunately, Nathan came down with a really high fever that night.

And let's not forget Miss Olivia. Grammy was in town to watch the kids while we were (supposed to be) away. Friday night Olivia punished us for even thinking about leaving by screaming for three hours straight (literally) in the middle of the night. All in all I think Grammy was happy we stayed home this time!

Olivia loved this float. She was able to touch the bottom and "walk" around the pool.  Around and around and around she went smiling the whole time. This float has mesh around the inner float, so she was able to splash around without trying to lean over the side and tipping over.

He loves being outside and loves being in the water even more!

I took the week of July 4th off and kept Nathan home with me on Tuesday. We started the morning at Shipley's for donuts and kolaches. Nathan picked a "beautiful red donut".....

.....and only ate the top of it.

Later that morning we spent over 2 hours in the pool at play group. This was the only picture I took because I was pretty preoccupied making sure he stayed alive in the big pool. 

After watching Frozen and resting, we made "marshmallow bears" from rice crispy treats and decorating candy I had left over from his birthday. He loved putting the gel on them to stick on the candy. 

Enjoying the fruits of his labor.

I'm sorry, future Nathan. I had to. Pretty impressive...these are 4 inch heels.

My big girl practicing standing up all by herself before school.

Balloons!!! This was at Chance's birthday party at Kim and Kevin's house in Austin on July 5th. 

The boys playing with the "Go Fishing" game we got for Chance for his birthday. Such concentration!

Olivia desperately wanted some of those fish, but that darn Aunt Kimberley kept holding her back. She eventually got a hold of a few and taste tested them. Need salt.

Happy Father's Day 2014

This year Father's Day started out much like Mother's Day. That is, the kids were acting awful and Jimmy got his present in the car on the way to church because I was running around scrambling to get everything together as per usual on a Sunday morning. Here is a picture of the finished product. I stole the idea from a co-worker who had something similar on his desk that his sweet wife made with their daughter.  I had to adapt it for 2 kids, but I like the way it turned out.  It was a lot of work and seriously strained my creative side. Miss Type A accountant isn't quite suited to this crafty business. The related photo shoot also had varying levels of success. Here are a few of the pictures (not all of them are used in the finished product).

Anyway, I tried to get a picture with Jimmy and the kids the morning of Father's Day and this is about the best we did that morning. Par for the course.

That afternoon was much better (after naps).  Jimmy went and bought a slip n' slide and he and Nathan had a blast sliding all over. Olivia hung out with me and got to splash around some too.  Nathan asked me to slide on the slip n' slide and I, of course, complied, but since I'm the one running this blog you don't get to see those pictures.  Trust me, they were impressive.

Honey, thank you for being such an amazing daddy to our children. I love that you love to play and run around with them and expose them to things I don't like (such as peanut butter and the outside). You are an excellent ice monster, horse, fellow "mean guy" and have the magic daddy touch at nap time (with Olivia, anyway). We love you.